This is the story of letting go and moving on. Organisational development (change by any other name) is my day job, so it’s been interesting to observe how I have reacted and responded to the news that the lease for Park Road was being taken back by the land-owner, who intends to build 120 flats and houses.
The diagram is Fisher’s change curve, the image creatively swiped from http://www.davidtaylorsblog.com and overlaid with my (edited) thought processes and actions over the last 18 months.
What has been interesting to notice is how easily I have moved back and forth between stages 1 and 2. I even started out with some optimism, thinking about the opportunities attached to designing a whole site from scratch – what a challenge! This change curve is based on Kubler-Ross’s Grief Cycle; the process by which we learn to let go of something, or someone and to re-frame how we think and feel about that loss, while continuing to move forward. I knew that my plot was my sanctuary, in many different ways, but still I was surprised by the physical and emotional grief that I felt about having to let go of that rented bit of land.
When it became clear that the land-owner’s operating company had a hidden agenda and could not be trusted to follow through on agreements, that made it a little easier to loosen the ties to the plot. Then I took a plot at a different council owned statutory site; un-worked for three years and before then in an ‘eccentric’ manner – the brambles were high and dense. I had a new focus and a new plan to energise me. But, I thought I could maintain the old plot while starting a new one from scratch; that caused quite a bit of angst and sore muscles.
I said goodbye to my original plot in August and gradually moved equipment and tools to the new shed but still I kept going back. I was there last weekend, to discover the tool shed had been vandalised and I resolved to not be discouraged. But for what purpose?
Gradually, bit by bit, I’ll go less and less to one site and more and more to the other until one day I’m totally bound to the second plot – all of the best bits of Park Road; everything I learned there – the do more and do less will have come to fruition (oops, a pun!)
And maybe I’ll just have to accept that there will always be a bit of me that misses the secret garden that was Park Road.